Mundane. That would be the word I would use to describe the day:)
I still have a headache, so we layed low today. My husband Curtis was working on the garage again, and I just chilled at home with the kiddos. We had some people over tonight, which was the highlight of the day! We all sat around and chatted and Jake played with his little friend.
I didn’t even take any pictures today. I did get a couple of cute ones from a couple of days ago though. It was cold out, and we wanted to go for a family walk. So, we bundled the kids up and out we went:)
Here’s what I’ve been ruminating on all day…
The comparison game sucks. The comparison game is designed to build us up, and then knock us down. The comparison game does not do anyone any good. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve played. I’ve played. We’ve all played.
When I was a little girl, I played all the time. I was never as pretty as the popular girls. I was never as athletic as the sporty girls. I was never as outgoing as my sister. I was, however, smarter than most of my classmates. I was better at music than many of my peers. Sometimes I won, but more often than not, I wound up losing the game, and watching my self-esteem plummet lower and lower.
As we grow into adulthood, it seems that the game stays the same, but the stakes change. Instead of popularity, athletic ability, or personality, you start comparing new aspects of life. Vocation. Salary. Education. Financial stability. Housing. And…here’s the kicker…kids.
Since having Jake, I strive daily to rid myself of this pesky game once and for all.
Because the truth is that if I play this game, comparing the milestones of my beautiful child’s life with milestones of typically-developing children, I will drive myself crazy. And not only will I drive myself crazy, but I will be doing Jake a huge disservice.
I am learning. Learning to be okay with a slower rate of retention. Learning to be okay with a delayed accomplishment of milestones. Learning to celebrate the successes, no matter when they come, or how long it has taken to achieve them. I am learning to take life as it is, comparison aside.
I desperately desire to replace comparison with contentment. Now that is something I can get on board with. That is a game I would love to play.