First off, I just think that my little pumpkin is the sweetest little guy ever. I know, I know, I’m biased, but take a look at this. How can you not agree with me??!! (thanks to http://www.mostlytruestuff.com for the help with the watermarking)
Where have the last two weeks gone?
After my last post, I decided that I wanted to try and write a post a week. Good goal, right? But then life seemed to happen in the meantime, and here we are, two weeks later! So, my new resolution is to write a post a week, starting now.
I think the word for the week would have to be “discouraged”.
We went to the ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist) last week, and got news that was less than fantastic. She basically told me that she can’t see Jake’s ear canal, so she doesn’t know what she is working with, but that he definitely has some hearing loss (she knows this because she read the results of the hearing test we had done back in August). The remedy to this problem, she says, is unclear until we know what we are working with. So, a CT scan of his ear canal is being ordered, and then we make a plan. She doesn’t know if his ear canal is 1) just really small, 2) kind of squished together, or 3) non-existent.
So, we wait. And try to figure out what’s wrong. As for a solution, I don’t have any answers. If his ear canal is not functioning properly, there are devices that can basically by-pass the ear canal and send vibrations straight to the middle ear, so that he can hear. Or maybe his ear canal will keep growing, and become bigger. I honestly have no idea what the future holds in this regard, and I know it will just take time to figure it all out. But for this week, I feel discouraged.
I knew the day would come when I would be face-to-face with the reality of the physical implications of Down syndrome. I just didn’t know that I would take it so hard. It is just so heartbreaking to see your child have challenges that there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix. Moms are supposed to be able to make things better. To “kiss it better”, to hug it away, to comfort and ease the pain. And I feel helpless to do this. And that is discouraging.
On a more positive note though, my little guy continues to be a bundle of joy, and the light of my life! We are staying with his cousins this week while my sister and her husband are out of town, and Jake is having some great cousin time! And while Calgary has officially ushered in the beginning of winter, look how cute Jake looks in his winter gear!